top chef finale

dear Top Chef judges,

what were you thinking??

so disappointing. hosea? really?

you got it all wrong this season.

the oscars.

last night, like every other year, i watched the oscars. from start to finish.
i'm not sure why i choose to subject myself to the show year after year. it's never that entertaining. nothing that ridiculous ever happens.

i don't quite understand if there was a strategy to either make the show shorter or more enjoyable to watch, but i think is there was it failed on both counts. it still ran longer, and the changes that were made really just made things seem more awkward than anything. and not funny awkward, just slightly uncomfortable. i think they should take a tip from the golden globes and serve booze so that as the night goes on everyone is sloshed. that's guaranteed to be a crowd pleaser.

but really, who thought it was a good idea to show and decribe each nominee and then announce them? every time it happened i got a little angrier. i already knew who the nominees were. because you just told me. i don't need to be told again. that's not how to make the show go faster.

i did feel like it somehow managed to get better the longer it went on. that might have just been because the sleepier i get the funnier everything seems. the comedy montage was pretty good though. james franco watching james franco. thumbs up.

jon hamm

in honor of jon hamm's guest spot on 30 Rock i thought i'd post his interview with zach galifianakis on Between Two Ferns. hilarity will ensue.

dog show.

last night i experienced the excitement of the westminster kennel club dog show. seriously.

i've always been turned off by the idea of animal competitions, but for some reason last night watching a big group of dogs running around in circles seemed extremely appealing.

the dog that won was the best. his name is Stump. he is 10 years old and almost died and he still took it all home. cinderella story. seriously though, i don't understand how these dogs are judged, but i don't care. this dog was the cutest.

more can be read about Stump here

grammys

i love M.I.A. she does not give a fuck. not many people can get away with a mesh bodysuit with a pattern like a ladybug. at nine months pregnant. but M.I.A., i don't know, i feel like she can do whatever the fuck she wants and it will seem cool. neon jeans? lame. neon jeans on M.I.A.? cool.

also: why did sir paul mccartney have a stuffed animal hanging out on stage for his performance? i need answers.

you're gonna love his nuts.

i realize that everyone is all about the shamwow recently, but i think the slapchop tops it. this man's brilliant insanity obviously needed something with blades to reach its full potential.

enjoy!

blog introduction.

last night i had a crazy dream involving snow, a dentist, a girl being possessed by the devil, trouble with 911, being unable to figure out where i was, and cops hiding their hats in corn meal.

later cloris leachman and richard gere were making out in a stairwell and ed harris came through as a masked robber and pushed them both down the stairs. then we ran away from ed harris.

the superbowl episode of The Office had jim, pam, and andy watching a bootleg movie with jack black and cloris leachman. i'm pretty sure that's how she made her appearance in my subconscious.

i don't know about the rest of it, but i woke up feeling extremely uncomfortable. so of course the appropriate reaction is to write about it on the interweb. i feel much better now.

it's so easy to join!